Statement: My intent in this newsletter is to express as quickly as possible my own beliefs and opinions on matters. I have no problems with people who disagree with my opinion and have even been swayed to rethink my position from time to time.
We are still taking book orders for my new book "ADHD and The Criminal Justice System" and you can get my author's discount from the AMAZON.COM price...
Patrick Hurley was recently appointed to the Professional Advisory Board of the Attention Deficit Disorder Association. For more information you can go to www.add.org
Patrick also spoke on October 15, 2007 at the National Conference on Correctional Health Care
in Nashville, TN on his book. The Conference is sponsored by the National Commission on Correctional Health Care (NCCHC), which has an impressive membership.
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Although not all persons with ADHD experience this as a problem, I, and many others I know, have experienced the feeling that, in routine conversations, the topic of conversation unintentionally too often is about me. This is usually due to me telling a story about one of my latest escapades or mishaps that frequently, but usually is not too serious.
My friends always seem to be anxious to hear the latest "Pat" story, and I appear to have never ending series of events to entertain them. These range from falling into my large yard waste container barrel, which is provided by the city, to having the elastic break at work on my boxer shorts, to my latest emergency room visit for stitches a few weeks ago after accidentally stabbing my hand while trying to take the hard plastic cover off a new hand tool purchase.
I think it has to do with my life long insecurity of not meeting my own expectations for myself. I know I possess above average intelligence, and for some reason find it necessary to prove to others that I am not totally inept all the time.
Luckily my friends seem to tolerate me, as I am often the first to recognize my narcisstic tendencies and make fun of myself. Unfortunately, recognition does not always translate into results, and occasionally a few minutes later I find myself the topic of conversation once again.
I know I am capable of being a good listener at times, but too often I feel the urge, or should I say the need, to interject my own thoughts into the conversation. Depending on circumstances, this has worked out well, or been totally inappropriate.
I feel fortunate that I have been given some level of self awareness of my tendencies to talk too much. I know of many persons with ADHD who do not possess any ability to recognize these traits in themselves, and the results are often few friends, and isolation with no understanding why.
The common thread for all of us would appear to be lack of awareness of these tendencies, or what is often referred to as the ADHD trait of not picking up on social cues, or the impact we have on other people. We must try to become aware and stay vigilant as to what we say and do.
Develop a good sense of humor and give your friends and family permission to point out to you when you are overstepping boundaries. Most of my friends have adopted the phrase "ZIP IT" when I go too far. I have adopted the phrase "WELL YOU KNOW IT IS ALL ABOUT ME" when I catch myself talking too much.
Having not realized for 42 of my 53 years that I was doing this, and then making the realization after being diagnosed with ADHD, was a major step in improving not only my own self image, but also becoming a better father, husband, brother, and friend to those I love and care about.
Thanks and talk to you next month.
Patrick Hurley
addcorridorcoach@aol.com
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