Statement: My intent in this newsletter is to express as quickly as possible my own beliefs and opinions on matters. I have no problems with people who disagree with my opinion and have even been swayed to rethink my position from time to time.
We are still taking book orders for my new book "ADHD and The Criminal Justice System" and you can get my author's discount from the AMAZON.COM price...
Patrick Hurley was recently appointed to the Professional Advisory Board of the Attention Deficit Disorder Association. For more information you can go to www.add.org
Patrick also spoke on October 15, 2007 at the National Conference on Correctional Health Care
in Nashville, TN on his book. The Conference is sponsored by the National Commission on Correctional Health Care (NCCHC), which has an impressive membership.
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With the ever increasing use of emails, at both work sites and at home, there are certain precautions for all of us to keep in mind. This is especially true of persons with ADHD. Although e-mails can serve a valuable purpose for the mass distribution of information, it also can be a poor substitute for the phone, a personal conversation, or even a forty-two cent old fashioned letter.
The problems with e-mails is that they are often written quickly in an emotional manner, with very little thought given to how the words we may type may be received by the recipient. They lack the body language we can view from a person we are talking to in person. They lack the tone of voice that may be evident in a phone call. They are not as closely reviewed, or thought out, as a old fashioned letter may be. And finally, they are so easy to fire off, that they may be fraught with danger for those with ADHD.
My best advice that I heard recently is NEVER send an e-mail while you are emotionally upset. Always either wait until you have calmed down, or write the response immediately, but put it in your SEND LATER/DRAFT box, so that you can review it an hour or a day later, when things have calmed down. Often times when we re-read the e-mail, we will recognize many potential statements, packed with emotionally charged words, that can come back and bite us in the butt. Since most of us lack the 3 second delay button on our responses, its absolutely necessary to review and rewrite a e-mail we may otherwise have sent emotionally.
The same thing applies to responding to e-mails we receive from others that we may have misread, misunderstood or felt were inappropriate. Keep in mind that the prevalence of e-mail has made "off the cuff" comments more common, and in almost all cases, make us feel obligated to respond to the e-mail. If we can wait and call the person who sent it, or talk to them directly, it's best to do that, to make sure of their meaning. If that is not possible, and e-mail is our only recourse, it is vital that we not respond emotionally and instantaneous. Another thing to keep in mind is that not all e-mails need to be responded to at all. How many of you have sent an e-mail with no expectation of a response, only to receive a note saying THANKS. So unless you have to know the person received the e-mail, tell them in the e-mail it is not necessary to respond. I don't know how many e-mails I have received saying THANKS and responding NO PROBLEM that just waste both parties time.
I wrote this newsletter based on a discussion we had with friends about e-mails, and how often they are written or responded to under emotional situations. Since they can be printed and become a permanent record, and even often tracked by employers, it is important that our e-mails are well thought out, appropriate and respectful.
If you have any comments or helpful suggestions on this feel free to write me.
Thanks and talk to you next month.
Patrick Hurley
addcorridorcoach@aol.com
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